Govt. Issues The List of 5001 Bad Things That May Happen Someday Somewhere

Stung by recent criticism on the number of terrorist attacks on the Indian soil, the Government has finally decided to act on its part. The central government today released an alphabetically sort list of “5001 Bad things” that may happen somewhere in the 26 states (no wait 27 states or it is 32? The government is still confused) on someday tomorrow, next month, next year or this Christmas holidays whichever comes earlier.

 This book is the scariest document after the government’s reply in the 2G scam. It has so called accurate list of probable events that may happen with expert comments by the former CBI director. This book is also planned for release in DVD and audio book format.

The DVD has expert’s comments and audio commentary delivered by the union finance minister and the current law minister. The uncut data is available in special edition which needs to be booked from Flipkart.com. The uncut scenes are exclusive coverage of how the investigating agency field reporters get permission to prepare the content from the proxy-prime minister.

According to the grey market sources, the DVD has already been copied and uploaded on torrent sites. The CB-CID division of vigilance is actively looking into this matter, and they fear that this leak must have been from one of the LeT sleeper cells. [Source: Vijay’s Thuppaki movie]

Some of the probable events include bombing in crowded areas across Mumbai by the LeT, infiltration across the LoC, flash floods in the upper Ganges region. The government is also concerned that these events may occur even as you read and hence have beefed up security measures to all parliamentarians.

One cannot imagine a working parliament without these 540 elected despots, without them India would actually work and progress. The army is also put on high alert since they have not had any actual field work since Kargil.

Some of the majors feel that some events may happen according to the books and they are terrified. One such reported event in the book is Adharsh housing society will go physically missing just as the files went last year, so army needs to be alert.

Well, I cannot wait to lay my hands on this book, so I am off to [I can’t type blacklisted Torrent sites here] site for downloading – Hence signing off now.