Why should you trust me, well the answers is simple … You are an idiot and I proclaim that you are one. Let’s become serious and try to analyze the question that the nation is facing today. Is “My Name is Khan” a sloppier movie than “Love Aaj Kal”?. No we have more serious question at our hands, it’s February and is it Budget time.
We are all worried, here in the salaried job class as to will we get some salary this month post all our deductions. So I would like to revolve around the tax policies in brief.
First of all, what is this Tax in the first place? After much research I found that it was a way of plucking innocent salaried employees into parting their money for the benefit of a few government personnel. If a government employee was to make a choice between catching a skier on the last ball of a T20 match and taking kick-backs for a fly-over construction tender, he will choose without hesitation the construction tender is because it’s easier than the other (Source: Last two series of IPL tournament).
I have a hunch that these tax policies were invented by people who had lots of free time and a working brain capacity of a turnip. Why does the government need such policies, it is because they need money to run their departments. When I scan through the list of departments that the present cabinet has, I find a lot of them look to be made-up ones. Take for example a few names, the department of marine ecology, department of urban collapsible housing, the department of social injustice to innocent bystanders, department for welfare of endangered squirrels etc.
I have no hard feelings for those people who actually work in this department. I know they too are very regular in their work timings which are from 11AM to 4PM of 4 days per week with a lunch break from 12 to 2 and two snack breaks of 30 minutes each. It is a very tiring schedule and I hope you get my drift.
To run a department we need money and to run these kind of departments with the organizational structure which includes a cabinet minister, 2 deputy cabinet ministers, 1 minster of state, 1 minister of panchayat, 1 president for the department, 2 vice-presidents, 4 deputy vice-presidents, 16 Assistant deputy vice-presidents, 28 legal advisors, 46 senior administrators, 98 administrators, 27 office boys/clerks and no workers. To pay salaries for them, the government needs money and how do they get it? It’s from the innocent taxpayers like you and me. Each year this number of departments increases and so does their salary. Hence there is an increase in TAX for you.
Now the PM talks about cost cutting and curbing all perks in the respective departments, I am in the view that if you dismantle a few redundant departments, it would make a great impact for the common man.
Let us assume that we dismantle a few departments, let’s see what the effect on the aam adhmi is:
Home ministry: Lot easier for us to get information on when terrorists are going to attack.
Finance: We may never have to file the Form-16 for the rest of our lives, No Tax Deducted @ Source.
Defense: No more headlines which reads “Another MIG 29 crashes during trial exercise drill during take-off”
Sports: We maybe in a position to get medals in major world events plus good sports infrastructure.
HRD: Students will be in a good position to answer if they have the board exam for the 10th this year.
So I would like to propose a new solution in this budget to get rid of many of these officials in some of the department and get some actual workers and start delivering results. This reduces the governments need for more money.
Tragically, because of some of these “bad rotten apple'' the public is losing faith in the entire government. So in an effort to restore their reputation, today I want to tackle, “head-on” some of the hard questions that you are asking about this financial meltdown:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the central government will send to innocent taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From last year tax collection.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a pittance.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set and watch IPL, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up, you are only entitled for asking restricted questions.
Q. The papers say banks are reducing interest rates but my EMI still going higher?
A. Those are only headlines in papers, not for fools who are on housing loans.
Q. OK, So what is good and bad for me in this stimulus package?
A. The good news is that the government is thinking of returning some money back to you in the form of tax SOPs. (Never try to pull the teeth of a gifted cow), the bad news is that the returned money will be borrowed by the government and every paisa is added to the budget deficit and will be recovered from you via indirect taxes such as service tax, advanced service tax, don’t know why but you MUST pay tax, just to keep you unhappy tax etc.
Enough about tax for now – I have to go and collect my Form-16 for this year.
