Man,37, Sees Thalaivai and Comes Out Smiling

A man from Erode had come down to Bangalore for some work and incidentally wanted to spend some of his free time. He intended to see a comedy movie and went to watch “Sonnalum Puriyadhu” but unknowingly bought tickets to Vijay’s Thailava. Not to be disappointed he went on to watch the film till its conclusion with the same intent as he began watching the title credits (Yuks), sources close to the man revealed today.

Incidentally, Times Now was the first channel to uncover the breaking news that Mr.Kannan, 37, hailing from Erode was the first and only man to sit through the complete movie in the entire state of Tamil Nadu. The chief minister is contemplating of rewarding this person for his pursued ambition to contribute to this movie fraternity.

Friends close to Mr.Kannan seem to reveal that he was actually a mild-mannered sales rep who hardly had any social interactions till now with the outside world. His main aim of going to Bangalore was to enjoy a movie this Saturday in which lots of things blowing up as a main plot. [My suggestion would have been “Chennai Express” for the same result]

Mrs.Kannan is currently having her husband examined with the local doctors for any symptoms of depression or dementia. The doctors at Erode government hospital are not willing to divulge the first results of the examination, but seem to express confidence that nothing would happen to Mr.Kannan.

“There is only one famous case of a man wandering into ‘CID Shankar’ in 1970” the medical association president stated “but had no lasting medical damage on him. In fact the man went on to become a successful screen writer for tamil TV mega serials”. Another doctor said “In the worst case, he may be inducted into any TV channel as a comedian anchor for reality shows”.

As of now, Mr.Kannan is not willing to express any of his views either to newspapers or TV channels, so we are assuming that he wants to commit suicide with a note “It’s all because of you THALAIVA”.

Govt. Issues The List of 5001 Bad Things That May Happen Someday Somewhere

Stung by recent criticism on the number of terrorist attacks on the Indian soil, the Government has finally decided to act on its part. The central government today released an alphabetically sort list of “5001 Bad things” that may happen somewhere in the 26 states (no wait 27 states or it is 32? The government is still confused) on someday tomorrow, next month, next year or this Christmas holidays whichever comes earlier.

 This book is the scariest document after the government’s reply in the 2G scam. It has so called accurate list of probable events that may happen with expert comments by the former CBI director. This book is also planned for release in DVD and audio book format.

The DVD has expert’s comments and audio commentary delivered by the union finance minister and the current law minister. The uncut data is available in special edition which needs to be booked from Flipkart.com. The uncut scenes are exclusive coverage of how the investigating agency field reporters get permission to prepare the content from the proxy-prime minister.

According to the grey market sources, the DVD has already been copied and uploaded on torrent sites. The CB-CID division of vigilance is actively looking into this matter, and they fear that this leak must have been from one of the LeT sleeper cells. [Source: Vijay’s Thuppaki movie]

Some of the probable events include bombing in crowded areas across Mumbai by the LeT, infiltration across the LoC, flash floods in the upper Ganges region. The government is also concerned that these events may occur even as you read and hence have beefed up security measures to all parliamentarians.

One cannot imagine a working parliament without these 540 elected despots, without them India would actually work and progress. The army is also put on high alert since they have not had any actual field work since Kargil.

Some of the majors feel that some events may happen according to the books and they are terrified. One such reported event in the book is Adharsh housing society will go physically missing just as the files went last year, so army needs to be alert.

Well, I cannot wait to lay my hands on this book, so I am off to [I can’t type blacklisted Torrent sites here] site for downloading – Hence signing off now.