The truth behind what the RJs say on radio

It’s really been a long time since I have gone to work and hence I am really out of touch on how to spend my morning hours till lunch. Usually when I go to work, the morning routine really keeps me busy – say reach office and check personal mails, then update Facebook and twitter, check official mails, login to system and read newspaper sites. By the time this routine gets done I am nearing lunch time. Since I don’t have this routine now, I have to rely on the local FM channels for spending my morning hours.

I think I have listened to a lot of FM radio shows now, trust me on this. I have a total of 320 hours of listening done for this month alone and hence I feel that I am a specialist when it comes to exactly knowing what the Radio Jockey is trying to say when they are on AIR.

So you think otherwise, well here I am to prove it to you. I am listing below the most commonly heard phrases and lines from the local channels and my observation about them, read through them and let me know if I am wrong.

RJ: For your pure enjoyment purpose I am giving you 15 minutes of uninterrupted love songs on the air now.
What It Actually Means: I have to go to the bathroom urgently and am not sure how long will it take.

RJ: The following song is dedicated to Raja, Mohan, Sumathi, Priya, Ramesh and Jenifer.
What It Actually Means: Finally the show has some real listeners, why not call them by their names and keep them happy.

RJ: Before the next song starts we’ll have the latest “SkyWatch Weather Report” sponsored by Stag Mark Umbrellas.
What It Actually Means: Let me walk over to the window, look out and give you an update.

RJ: Ummhh ... You are experiencing some technical difficulties currently, we will return shortly, don’t go anywhere stay tuned.
What It Actually Means: I am currently searching for the MP3 CD or have spilt coffee over it.

RJ: I request our patrons to please call us now for any request, lots of prizes to be won. All our lines are open.
What It Actually Means: I really would love to find out if someone is really tuned in to this show.

RJ: “Citizens, Don’t drink and drive”. The following public service message is mandated by the Traffic Police.
What It Actually Means: There are no sponsors for this show and so we make it up with public service messages.

RJ: The next song is a popular number from the 80s; we wish to bring those old songs back to your memories.
What It Actually Means: For Rs0.50 you can get only those discarded 80s songs for playing.

RJ: The next song is from the smashing romantic hit movie [Any New Movie Name Here] which is currently running in Cinemas near you.
What It Actually Means: Although the movie and the song are crap, I want to stay on the “Free Movie Guest” list, so will repeat this song for quite a number of times.

Well it is getting time for the next show now and I have to get moving, so until my next free time, it’s me “Your friendly Neighbourhood Blogger” signing off in style.

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

There are times in your life when the day becomes good or it becomes better and sometime the best. Usually the first day of the month would be the best since that is the day when your pockets bulge and you have a complete control over your identity – "An Impulsive Consumer".

For some reason my life pattern does not follow the above, it goes from Bad to Worse finally culminating in “The Worst”. Take for example, from the time I got engaged, to my marriage and from there to having kids and now taking courses on how to change diapers and where to find a good baby sitter. [Q.E.D]

In all these years I find when I look back at these incidences which makes our day, I feel happy that I am not alone, there are many with me. So for all those blokes who are with me, here are a few snippets of incidents about how they turn from Bad to Worse to Worst.


1. While going to a movie

BAD: You are driving to a movie on a Friday night and mid-way find that one of your tyres is flat.
WORSE: You open the boot and find that you do not have a jack.
WORST: The only person in that area who owns a jack is a serial killer.

2. Loan Repayment Papers for TAX filing

BAD: Your loan repayment papers have been locked inside your office locker. You do not have the keys with you now.
WORSE: The Security officer requests for an ID proof, and you do not have one currently.
WORST: The compartment which you wanted the security officer to open after quiet a negotiating talk happens to be of your cubicle mate.

3. Night duty for the project

BAD: You have to provide on-call support during this weekend and the project team is out there on a camping site.
WORSE: The system administrators have called on for impromptu maintenance and shutting down the system.
WORST: The team is camping at the site to distribute awards for the “Best Team Member” which is YOU.

4. Neighbour's Absconding

BAD: Your neighbour decides to move without telling you and once fine day you find their house vacant.
WORSE: They still owe you more than Rs.15000 in cash.
WORST: They have taken all the gym equipments of yours along with them.

5. Project Team Group Photo

BAD: The project team suddenly wants to have the picture of the entire group taken now, you are badly dressed.
WORSE: You have your eyes closed and your mouth slanted in the picture
WORST: Your team picture is the one which is displayed at the reception hall.

6. Corporate Cricket Match

BAD: Your family does not come to the company’s cricket matches
WORSE: When they finally decide to come, you get a golden duck in that game.
WORST: Again your family trusts your talents and decide to come, you are not picked for the game.


Well enough for now: I have only one more scenario left which is about this blog.

BAD: You feel that it was worth a read
WORSE: You feel impulsive to leave a comment “Hey a great blog”
WORST: FWD this to the entire Face Book world.