What I am going to tell you told
will surely make your blood boil – You will never understand what I witnessed
on the roads last week. This highway NH-47 very popularly known as “GST road”,
a highway which has more potholes than road, is a proud home for the country’s
most dammed drivers.
Of course I realize that this is a
point of honour for every citizen of India, but let me say it’s not worth the feeling.
I know that you are wonders “What NH-47? Have you REALLY seen some of my [Print
your City Name here] drivers?”
Listen, take a KitKat (Motto: It
doesn’t bend, it breaks) and try to cool yourself. You have to understand that
I am quiet experienced in this domain – identifying rash drivers. I am sure
that your city has equal number of homicidal morons and muffs as down here but I
have witnessed what is not so normal in other parts of the country.
Also I know what I am talking about
(Really? S-L-A-P let’s get back to the topic). I have driven or practically
experienced driving conditions in every major Indian city including Howrah
where every motorist’s main aim is to pick up speeds reaching MACH 2 as though
the draw bridge is just about to open and they need to clear it at all cost.
I have also driven in Bombay (Motto:
Anyone from other states, follow us), where there is only one traffic law,
which is that no driver may ever be behind any other driver, the result being
that at all times, all the motorists in the city, including those in funeral
processions, are simultaneously trying to pass each other.
I have ridden in a taxi in the Kerala
city of Mananthavady (literally, ``Cover your eyes and pray for GOD''), where
(a) nobody ever drives slower than 65 Kmph, including inside hotel parking lots,
and (b) at night, many motorists drive with their headlights off, because-a
taxi driver told me this, and he was absolutely serious-this extends the life
of your bulbs. (When he told me this, we were in a major traffic jam caused by
an accident involving a truck and a big adult elephant.)
I
have also ridden on a bus in Bangalore (Motto: One billionaire per Sq. Kilometre),
ploughing through humongous traffic snarls involving trucks, cars, bicycles,
auto, bullock carts, IT professionals and pedestrians, all aggressively vying
for the same space, and where the bus driver would sometimes physically push pedestrians
out of the way. I don't mean with his hands. I mean with the BUS.
So
my point of view is that, I have seen enough of crazy driving on the road,
nevertheless of the insane driving techniques of our country I feel for a fact
that no place than “Thambaram” brings together the craziness and ridiculousness
of reckless driving. This is a place where even the RED light signal has no
more significance than e-filling your tax returns. The police morale has gone
so down that they would let you off a hit-and-run incidence with a warning if
it is for the first time.
So
after all this, you are asking what my point is. Well, the other day I saw this
person. Rather I heard him first before seeing him. His car stereo was half the
size of King Kong and had a sound producing capacity of 2 nuclear generators
which are detonating in rhythm. I particularly felt the bass notes since couple
of bicyclist were flying around the place as he sped past them.
I am
today here (literally: Typing in front of you) because I tried getting out of
his path, but there was no way I could locate his path. He was weaving back and
forth across five lanes (out of a possible two).
Fortunately
he missed me and three other fourteen year old trees but I got a glimpse of him
driving with his hands on his head and his stomach steering the vehicle. He was
watching a video of Danush film (literally: I do not have anything better to
do) installed on the place where usually other cars have their SUN visors. Yes,
RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE, blocking the entire view of the road.
I
don’t want to sound like an OLD whiff, but I myself think it’s a bit crazy
steering without a view and is very hazardous for the environment. I remember
my first lesion in learning to drive – WATCH the ROAD.
My
guess is that with today’s smarter phones and technology, more and more drivers
have no time for viewing the road condition and have more important activities
such as busy making phone calls, eating, reading, changing CDs, putting on
makeup, brushing their teeth, changing baby diapers etc. Of course these
drivers are often safe since they have a chance, from time to time, of viewing
the road. Whereas this guy I saw on NH-47 could only see DANUSH and nothing but
DANUSH. Imagine his mental state.
I
hope you agree with me now on my initial point.
I
also hope that you are not reading this in your CAR.
