CBI Orders Hugh Quantity Of “Post-It” Notes

In what is described as a “crucial” development towards upgrading the CBI’s intelligence arm, the director paid a visit to LandMark bookshop and bought substantial quantities of yellow post-it message pads.

The agency, which has never had access to such messaging before, believes that the introduction of these pads will dramatically improve the relaying of important messages across the organisation and also improves the in-field officers communication back to the department centres.

The director while speaking at the press conference today in Delhi said that this purchase will also help the sharing of the information to many premier news channels in an easy manner. It was learnt that the agency had to deploy 3-4 data operators mainly to SMS important messages to political parties and new agencies. Now with this purchase, it  has eased the agency by downsizing these data operators and some field officers for non-performance issues.

The director also expressed a reaction similar to “intrigued” when he said that he had seen a device which can record voice and store them and later transfer it directly into the computer as MP3 data file. Also it came with free USB Web-cam. The director is currently writing a letter to the PM for granting permission to procure this device for the agencies betterment.

While the director is pronouncing the trip to LandMark as a success story, many whistle-blowers revealed that they had urged the agency to invest in these USB devices as early as in 2003. One of the agency field officer quotes (in anonymity) “I then tried to write a memo about this stick pads, but there were no pens or paper around in the office. They were all locked up in the cup-board of the divisional head’s room.”

Now after this report the opposition is demanding an internal CBI enquiry into the missing pens and paper from the divisional officer’s cupboard. While this is not so serious complaint, the aam admi is surely to believe this since the PMO has reported that it has lost important files regarding the coal allocation.