It’s starting to rain in Madras and all the bacteria and viruses are back to form. So I check up with my consulting doctor on the chances of me getting a common cold for which he said a resounding 200% chance yes. This brings me to an interesting question. I as an honest tax payer paying tons of money to the medical community to develop medicines for all known diseases but in reality I find that they are really useless. Let us say we give them just two more weeks to find a cure for the common cold or let us turn this problem to a more complicated outfit like our political parties to resolve.
Seriously I began to wonder what the medical community is thinking right now. All that we see on the media about the medical community is strikes, huge office furniture and a lot of people with white coats. The media keeps repeating information such as the medical community have found landmark treatments for rodent poisoning and many advanced operations such as installing a micro-device into a fifteen year old boy’s tonsil. The spokesperson happily says “We saw the boy and this micro device, so we figured a way to put them together. Next week we plan to install the batteries for the device.”
While this is going on, millions of Madras-ites are getting common cold and general cough making the place more noisy and dirty. There are two kinds of symptoms to find if you have a cold; one is strong nose blowing or huge continuous grunting. Madras-ians think nothing about these two things, for example the highest decibel sound found on the streets of madras is nose blowing. Not only do they blow but they also make sure that they throw the phlegm right next to you.
So as far as I can see, the only group who are pro-actively trying to solve this problem are the cold-remedy companies which create lousy ads on TV. For example:
(The scene opens in a pleasant suburban bungalow. The husband walks into the house with a running nose and falls flat on the floor)
Seriously I began to wonder what the medical community is thinking right now. All that we see on the media about the medical community is strikes, huge office furniture and a lot of people with white coats. The media keeps repeating information such as the medical community have found landmark treatments for rodent poisoning and many advanced operations such as installing a micro-device into a fifteen year old boy’s tonsil. The spokesperson happily says “We saw the boy and this micro device, so we figured a way to put them together. Next week we plan to install the batteries for the device.”
While this is going on, millions of Madras-ites are getting common cold and general cough making the place more noisy and dirty. There are two kinds of symptoms to find if you have a cold; one is strong nose blowing or huge continuous grunting. Madras-ians think nothing about these two things, for example the highest decibel sound found on the streets of madras is nose blowing. Not only do they blow but they also make sure that they throw the phlegm right next to you.
So as far as I can see, the only group who are pro-actively trying to solve this problem are the cold-remedy companies which create lousy ads on TV. For example:
(The scene opens in a pleasant suburban bungalow. The husband walks into the house with a running nose and falls flat on the floor)
Wife: Are you OK? Can we leave for shopping now as you promised?
Husband: N-O
Wife: I don’t think so you look OK. Are you having fever?
Husband: Yes
Wife: Is your throat chocking?
Husband: Yes
Wife: Do you feel like committing suicide?
Husband: Yes
Wife: Then go and watch an Ajit’s movie … For common cold, try this Nicks-Passion-500.
Husband: Nicks-Passion-500?
Wife: Yes Nicks-Passion-500.
(The scene shifts to an impressive medical laboratory which has never been used for research purpose. There is a desk; behind it is a huge collection of books. It is actually the complete series of Famous Five but the camera doesn’t get close enough for you to verify that.)
Medical Officer: Research test shows that Nicks-Passion-500, a collection of herbal ingredients, is extremely helpful for a person suffering from cold. When used in a conscientiously applied program for oral hygiene it gets you back on your feet in 15 minutes.
(The scene shifts to a shopping mall with the husband not in the picture but behind a pile of grocery items and a useless credit card whose limit has been reached.)
Wife: Just a second honey, I think I missed that baking powder. Let me get it.
Husband: Come back quick, while I load these items into the trunk.
Well, I guess I have made my point really clear now but still there are some people who believe that they can avoid cold by eating a lot of vitamin C. (Source: My wife) Sometime my wife eats vitamin C say in the order of metric tons during rainy season hoping that the common cold will not harm her. She sincerely believes in this approach and yet she is always down with cold every monsoon season.
I guess you have to follow my way which is very simple. Just drink a large quantity of cool drinks. It seems to work, since I started drinking large quantities of Coke. I have not had one cold that I can remember clearly since last week.
Note: Nicks-Passion-500 with Coke is a good substitute for Rum. (Source: my neighbour’s medical college going son)
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