Long ago the Indian government placed some orders which prohibited industries from trying to win orders by bribing. This comes as a shock to many administrators since most of the Indian businesses live on greasing the machinery to win contracts. If this trend was to continue then many marketing executives will be clearly out of jobs and will have to look for openings such as LIC insurance agents and door to door salesperson for vacuum cleaners.
Nevertheless to give you an account of actually what happens just before signing the deal, I am assuming that I play the role of a brother-in-law to a big politician in a state where Mr.X (an honest businessman trying to make inroads) wants to do business.
So relax and enjoy this fictional conversation on the phone for a business deal:
Mr.X: “Mamma ji, it was the most wonderful buffet that I have ever had. Thanks for inviting me”
Myself: “It is my pleasure, what brings you to Chennai?”
Mr.X: “My Company is interested in setting up a plant for mosquito coils in Chennai. We believe this would make a great health contribution to Chennai. It would save many young lives from Chikkun-gunia”
Myself: “A lot of them are offering for mosquito coils, what’s so new about yours?”
Mr.X: “5 million shares and 15% dividend every quarter, 20 million in low interest rate loans.”
Myself: “Looks like my BIL would be interested but her wife may not be too inclined in this”
Mr.X: “No, we plan to invest 60 million in her Women’s Welfare trust and sponsor 2 grand events of A.R.Rehman concert for their trust”
Myself: “Good, the money is to be deposited in Switzerland”
Mr.X: “Why there?”
Myself: “That’s where the head quarters for this welfare trust is”
Mr.X: So it’s done deal now I think
Myself: Well not so fast, you see my son is running a Clothes shop and he is in the middle of a fund drive you see.
Mr.X: so what, we shall contribute in that drive also. So now does it make a done deal?
Myself: You see I am not the authority, my BIL is the minister for commerce and he is a very tough nut to crack. I shall write a note on your tender and we shall see. By the way he loves diamonds.
Mr.X: We will find the diamonds and have it delivered, anyone else in the list?
Myself: If you can spare a few thousands for the Pinter’s Press Association of Chennai it may be of some help.”
Mr.X: where is this association?
Myself: It’s not started yet, but my daughter is dreaming about one for a long time.
Mr.X: so be it – Now let me convey this to me boss and we shall see it from there
Myself: Good, I will write to the note once I hear from my bank on those transfers. Sleep well my boy.”
Mr.X: Thanks a lot for saving our business in the hour of the need
Myself: For any other favours also get back to me.
C-L-I-C-K
C-L-I-C-K
Well, this is how many deals get over and is precisely how our economy runs.
No wonder I am still a stupid nut who is law abiding and a proper tax paying poor bloke not knowing where to grease the machinery. While I still believe in the legislation to avoid bribery which remains in BOLD letters in every government office may work some day just the as Ghandhi ji’s Portrait hanging in the office walls.
Nevertheless to give you an account of actually what happens just before signing the deal, I am assuming that I play the role of a brother-in-law to a big politician in a state where Mr.X (an honest businessman trying to make inroads) wants to do business.
So relax and enjoy this fictional conversation on the phone for a business deal:
Mr.X: “Mamma ji, it was the most wonderful buffet that I have ever had. Thanks for inviting me”
Myself: “It is my pleasure, what brings you to Chennai?”
Mr.X: “My Company is interested in setting up a plant for mosquito coils in Chennai. We believe this would make a great health contribution to Chennai. It would save many young lives from Chikkun-gunia”
Myself: “A lot of them are offering for mosquito coils, what’s so new about yours?”
Mr.X: “5 million shares and 15% dividend every quarter, 20 million in low interest rate loans.”
Myself: “Looks like my BIL would be interested but her wife may not be too inclined in this”
Mr.X: “No, we plan to invest 60 million in her Women’s Welfare trust and sponsor 2 grand events of A.R.Rehman concert for their trust”
Myself: “Good, the money is to be deposited in Switzerland”
Mr.X: “Why there?”
Myself: “That’s where the head quarters for this welfare trust is”
Mr.X: So it’s done deal now I think
Myself: Well not so fast, you see my son is running a Clothes shop and he is in the middle of a fund drive you see.
Mr.X: so what, we shall contribute in that drive also. So now does it make a done deal?
Myself: You see I am not the authority, my BIL is the minister for commerce and he is a very tough nut to crack. I shall write a note on your tender and we shall see. By the way he loves diamonds.
Mr.X: We will find the diamonds and have it delivered, anyone else in the list?
Myself: If you can spare a few thousands for the Pinter’s Press Association of Chennai it may be of some help.”
Mr.X: where is this association?
Myself: It’s not started yet, but my daughter is dreaming about one for a long time.
Mr.X: so be it – Now let me convey this to me boss and we shall see it from there
Myself: Good, I will write to the note once I hear from my bank on those transfers. Sleep well my boy.”
Mr.X: Thanks a lot for saving our business in the hour of the need
Myself: For any other favours also get back to me.
C-L-I-C-K
C-L-I-C-K
Well, this is how many deals get over and is precisely how our economy runs.
No wonder I am still a stupid nut who is law abiding and a proper tax paying poor bloke not knowing where to grease the machinery. While I still believe in the legislation to avoid bribery which remains in BOLD letters in every government office may work some day just the as Ghandhi ji’s Portrait hanging in the office walls.
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