Old Proverbs In A New Bottle

Every culture has a collection of wise sayings that offer advice about how to live your life. These sayings are called "proverbs". Usually, it takes time for these sentences to become a part of that culture. Hence proverbs are always known as old.

Since today’s generation has no time to get into this Proverbs, idioms, and phrases I set out to create more meaningful proverbs for today’s scenario by taking the old one.

Let me know your comments – 

1. A pepper spray keeps the molesters away
2. All the online offers is not Sale
3. A novice and his data are soon parted
4. Always put the best profile online
5. An empty manager makes more money
6. A backup in time saves nine
7. Don’t judge a person by his profile picture
8. Don’t forward your own FB status
9. Cash is thicker than e-Payments
10. Best things in the Internet are Free
11. As you send eMail, so you shall receive
12. A comment is worth a thousand likes
13. A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single click
14. The charge on the phone is only as strong as its battery
15. A remote in hand is worth two in the phone
16. A bad manager always blames his team
17. All good online sales come to an end
18.  Privacy is in the hands of the beholder
19. Good contents cannot be viral
20. Cyber-hack killed the cat
21. Don’t download more than what you can stream
22. Don’t put all your data in one cloud
23. Don’t put the password before the login
24. Entrepreneur rush in where Venture Capitalist fear to thread
25. Fortunes favor the start-ups
26. Give public servants an inch they will take a mile
27. Incognito is the best policy
28. If you play online, you will get broke
29. It’s no use crying over deleted data
30. Ignorance is bliss

Till the next time - it's better to be Safe (from reading these crap) than Sorry.

What's the Difference Between ...

This is a blog which has taken me many hours of hard work and judicious screening of materials from various sources which includes Internet, books, Junk mails, SMS et all. This is a compilation of some of the best FWD jokes which I have received in the last 10 years.

So sit back and enjoy ... What's the difference between

- Bottle of Medicine & a Doormat?
One is shaken up and taken while the other is taken up and shaken.

- A married man & a Bachelor?
One kisses the misses while the other misses the kisses.

- a barber in ancient Rome & an excited circus owner?
One is a shaving Roman and the other is a raving showman.

- the Princes of Wales & a Wimbledon tennis ball?
One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

- A young lady and a fresh loaf?
One is a well-bred maid while the other is a well-made bread

- A dart player and a violinist?
One finds the middle and the other minds the fiddle.

- A cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the ends of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of the clause.

- Suppandi and Double Mac burger?
One is easy to cheat while the other is cheesy to eat.

- A clock maker and a Satirist?
One makes the tick and the other takes the mick

- a Lighthouse Keeper, a thief & a pot of glue?
One watches over the seas, one seizes watches. And the pot of glue? Ah, that's where you get stuck.

Until the next set of compilations, it's bye from me.

Tips On English Grammar For Young Writer

Every once in a while (i.e. 4 years 5 months and 3 days) I come up with a new idea for a blog. As it struck me this time, I wish to address some of the important burning issues with writing a blog, which is “How do I select a topic?”. No, many of them have done it before me and possible even better than mine. So in this issue, I wish to answer some of the pressing questions in English Grammar for those young writers.

Dear Mister Perfect: When is it correct to say: "between you and I"?

Ans. It is correct in the following instance: "Well, just between you and I, It is advisable that you pay the bill for today’s dinner while I leave the tips."

Dear Mister Perfect: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

ANS. I basically do not see any value addition because of this punctuation mark. The possible purpose for apostrophe is maybe to indicate that an “S” is going to be the last alphabet in that sentence. It is used mostly in business signage such as “WE DO NOT ACCEPT CREDIT CARD’S” or “MANAGEMENT NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS OF CUSTOMER ITEM’S”

Dear Mister Perfect: When do you say "who, " and when do you say "whom"?

ANS. You say "who" when you want to find out something, like for example if a friend of yours comes up and says, "What a beauty, just now witnessed a fight between the actress who lives in block-VI and your mother" you would reply: "WHO?" You say "whom" when you are in UK or you are angry (as in: "And WHOM do you think is going to clean up this mess after the party?").

Dear Mister Perfect: Like many voters, I often get confused about which party member is currently shouting in Doorknob Gowsami’s show. Can you help me out?

ANS. Here is a simple pneumatic device for telling these two similar-sounding words (or "gramophones") apart: Just remember that if they mention 1984 they are Modi supporters and if they mention 2002 then they are Congress supporters, if they mention both – they are AAP.

Dear Mister Perfect: I have a question concerning the expression: "The fact of the matter is." I would like to know whether it is preferable to say: "The fact of the matter is, Kapil Sibal’s views are not worth listening to” or: "The fact of the matter is, that Kapil Sibal is a total nincompoop."

ANS. Mister Perfect does not see any major difference.

Dear Mister Perfect: I am curious about the expression, "A complete planned food." The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be watching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they'll show a commercial for a children's compressed breakfast compound such as "Horlicks Jr" or "Chocolate Complan" and they always show the item placed on a table next to a some actual food such as idli, and the announcer always says: "A complete planned food." Don't they really mean, "Adjacent to this actual breakfast item," or "On the same table as this complete breakfast"? And they can actually make the same claim if, instead of Horlicks, placing a can of shaving cream there or a broken coconut shell?

ANS. Yes, good observation.

Dear Mister Perfect: What do they mean on the TV weather forecast when they say we are going to have "thundershowers possible"?

ANS. They mean we are not going to have an actual thundershower, per se, but we are going to have thundershower like climate, which looks very similar to the untrained eye.

Dear Mister Perfect: I think my wife is having an affair.

ANS. Mister Perfect wouldn't doubt you for a minute; you are in the wrong forum addressing the wrong point.

Dear Mister Perfect: Some business associates and I are trying to compose a very important business letter, and we disagree about the wording of a key sentence. My partner argues that it should be: "You better be there alone with the ransom money, or we don't want to have to break one of your limbs off." I say this is incorrect.

Can you settle this argument?

ANS. Tell your associates they'd better brush up on their grammar! The sentence they're suggesting ends with the preposition "off" and should be corrected as follows:" . . . don't want to have to break on of your limbs off with a big knife."

TODAY'S SPECIAL LANGUAGE TIP: Everybody should try to use the word "transpire" more often so that it improves the speaker’s morale.

GOT A QUESTION FOR MISTER PERFECT? Send it to Mister Perfect via the comments section of this blog.