The IPM Commissioner for 2015 has announced today that the IPL governing team is about to take serious of bold steps after many thought provoking debates on Times Now with the slated goal of alienating the remaining hard core fans forever.
“At IPL stadiums everywhere around the country, it is too hard to get tickets for the matches. Even if we get the tickets, it’s very hard to get a decent parking slot or have to wait long queues for the restrooms” the commissioner said “All these problems have the same root cause: people. So simply put sport has too many fans”.
As part of the big strategy, the first step is to achieve contraction of fan base across all the teams playing in 2015. “We are planning to change the scoring pattern such that all the games end in a TIE. So please start watching something else like Wrestling or F1 which has more thrills” he continued.
In addition to it, it would now take nine balls for one over and the 30 yard circle the size of the ground. These game changing rules are aimed at making the average game to six hours to fill the time slots during summer. These changes along with the outlawing of run-outs & LBW not to be referred to the third umpire solely aimed to further reduce the level of popularity and also increase TV viewership to other physically demanding games such as Golf.
In addition, the commissioner said that the final 3 overs of the innings would feature a power play break with deep routed messages from Deepika Padukone or an item song by famous Bollywood actress. This step would make sure that the stadium would be vacant before the match gets over and easy for the ground staffs to prepare for the next game.
In all, there is a huge expectation from the fans that these steps would be taken as soon as possible so that the viewers can go back to old form of entertainment in the 90s: WWF wrestle-mania.
“At IPL stadiums everywhere around the country, it is too hard to get tickets for the matches. Even if we get the tickets, it’s very hard to get a decent parking slot or have to wait long queues for the restrooms” the commissioner said “All these problems have the same root cause: people. So simply put sport has too many fans”.
As part of the big strategy, the first step is to achieve contraction of fan base across all the teams playing in 2015. “We are planning to change the scoring pattern such that all the games end in a TIE. So please start watching something else like Wrestling or F1 which has more thrills” he continued.
In addition to it, it would now take nine balls for one over and the 30 yard circle the size of the ground. These game changing rules are aimed at making the average game to six hours to fill the time slots during summer. These changes along with the outlawing of run-outs & LBW not to be referred to the third umpire solely aimed to further reduce the level of popularity and also increase TV viewership to other physically demanding games such as Golf.
In addition, the commissioner said that the final 3 overs of the innings would feature a power play break with deep routed messages from Deepika Padukone or an item song by famous Bollywood actress. This step would make sure that the stadium would be vacant before the match gets over and easy for the ground staffs to prepare for the next game.
In all, there is a huge expectation from the fans that these steps would be taken as soon as possible so that the viewers can go back to old form of entertainment in the 90s: WWF wrestle-mania.
