Most Overused Resume Words

Come July it is the time for appraisals in your company and for me it is time to start the recruitment drive for my team. Every year I scan through a high number of bio-data with all adjectives put in between those power resume words. In fact every resume that I scan would in total exceed the skill sets of Kernighan, Ritchie and Stoutstrup put together with.

I would like to question the very thought as to why should I use those words when both the parties (receiver and sender) know that there is not an iota of truth in it. Why can’t I just send an email stating “Dear Employer, I want a job and I know to use CTRL-C and CTRL-V and sometimes CTRL-ALT-DEL.” This is perfectly matching my team’s requirements. Why should I go through a complete grueling session called “Inter-View” and so called “Technical Discussion” to select few guys who by the next July would be retyping their curriculum vitiate.

In my view, the entire HR department can be done away with, and save those money to buy new hardware for the project engineers to work and create some revenue for the company. So with this context let me take you through some of those over-abused words that you may find in the next bio-data that you get through the referrals.

1.       Creative: Why is that every engineer or a MCA in this planet is creative? Or why is it necessary for someone to be really creative to work in Mainframes or in embedded platform? I don’t think the company is going to pay you more than the others just because you are creative. In fact for me, if a guy is really creative he would not be in software. End of story.

2.       Effective: How does one define what is effectiveness or how am I to find out if you really are? I can guess from the way you draw the block diagram of a DVD player if you are capable or not. Even my 4 year old kid knows more than me on how to effectively use Blu-ray player, so effectiveness is not that good a thing to posses.

3.       Track record: This word is purely used since it cannot be validated even if the person gave me 1 year to verify. One really does not know what record is the person talking about and what track has he accomplished something. Think why should a proven track record person change? Do you think the Australian cricket team would take Harbajan when he has a track of proven records [of not taking wickets when needed]?

4.       Motivated: I would like to know what he is motivated to. Obviously it is for money but the lies that flow from the person’s mouth is a treat to watch. If everyone in my team was motivated and had good track record, then there is no scope for me [Project Manager].

5.       Innovative: For sure I would not even look beyond this word if a person as used it in his resume. If he was so innovative, why is he still using an age old medium to showcase his skills? I would rather recruit a guy who flashes an SMS via his iPhone with the text message “24 Lakhs PA + Car + Perks, 2 months paid leave. Accept or Reject” or “I am ready to accept salary or you ready to pay it?” These type of guys are really innovative ...

6.       Problem solving: My perception is that any new entrant into a running system would be the problem creator. If that being the case, how could the same person be the problem solver? I do not want to talk about these guys who are fit for nothing; the only problem they can solve is how you can close down the project before its actual date. If a person cannot solve his problem in the previous company, how is he going to do it in mine?

7.        Dynamic: Software work to my knowledge is a purely sedentary job and I wonder what I would do with a dynamic person? I may have to keep running from pillar to post to locate this person for the project status. I would like people who are stationary and sloppy so that I can mentor them and grow my career in the organisation. People who are dynamic are not aligning to my interests.

8.       Results-oriented: I do not really understand what this phrase means? Is there someone who would do anything without the knowledge of the end result or wanting to achieve some result, I have not seen one yet expect our current Prime Minister?

9.       Team player: What does one mean by this? If he is a team player, then why is he applying for a new job all alone, without informing his team? If this is what team player means, I am sure we can run the project without persons like him.

10.   Responsible For: All of us are in the same understanding I suppose. I thought of using the same page [another abused word in IT] but restricted myself. The understanding that you are responsible for our work items. Is this an extra-ordinary trait that you were responsible for high-level design, improving quality etc. I thought it was a basic expectation from the management that all faults are yours.

11.   Extensive experience: My understanding of experience was that it would come only if you were exposed to something extensively. Many resources would say they have worked extensively in cutting edge technology which was released only 6 months back. God only knows how they were trained on subject before it is known.

12.   Communication skills: The final nail in his coffin, communication skills I thought was written and oral in my days, but now-a-days SMS and short emails are known as communication skills. To talk to the team member sitting next to you, you have to call him on his mobile since you cannot communicate face-to-face. One exception is if the team member is of the opposite sex.

So the final conclusion that I have made is to search for these words and directly thrash the profiles and look for someone who is creatively innovative, exposed and future oriented. Of course there is one exception for me too. [If you can catch my drift]