“Come here Watson, I need you” was what Graham Bell shouted when his assistant was playing with the Sony Playstation-III … or perhaps he was doing something which was irritating Mr.Bell a lot. This was how I knew of telephone communications and I grew up with an idea of phones being in Black colour and using rotary dials with which we can easily end up making many wrong numbered combinations. You also had a lot of choice with the service provider namely BSNL. The services which they offered were either delayed or put on hold and never cared for.
Times have changed and in today’s trendy world of cellular phones which are so small (an example the size of your brain) that they have discounted the earpiece and the microphones. No, they have improved in technology so much that you would have to buy a phone every 3 minutes since the older one would be obsolete by then. The telecommunication industry I am sure is run by some monkey brained scientist since they churn up some many acronyms like WLL, CDMA, WAP, SIM, GPRS, GSM, IIT-JEE, NIIT etc that end up making you look bewildered when trying to choose a model.
To top this off, the service providers would lay their conditions that TRI-BAND with GPRS would work only if you have MMS, WAP, ECG and EEG enabled on your set. It has reached a point where I feel that for want of peace that I go to a store and give him some money. Then get an empty match-box with some strings and make my own instrument thereby saving me from insanity. Only restrictions are that the other party is just 20 feet away from you.
It’s certain that the days have changed, considering the level of tech-knowledge, capacity to add two 4 digit numbers it would be impossible to remember your own car license number. Yet the cellular manufacturers models that have vague numbers which you have to remember when going to shop. Perhaps these manufacturers keep flipping the scientific data books for known numbers like 22/7 (Pi), Planks constant, De Broglie’s wave equations, Avogadro number, Boltzmann’s constant for their model numbers.
The result, I am (of course you are also in the same boat) confused and bewitched on what to choose. Many of the tech-savvy people always talk with respect to the model numbers such as “Yo man, got to see the K750i-(32-5/9F) model, it has better features than the N50-1.414i series in terms of nuclear surface-to-air missile launching capabilities”. Taking of capabilities gone are the days when you could only talk on your phone, today’s model come with many much needed services such as music player, video player, microwave oven, missile launchers, tool box, doping kit etc. With all these bloated services, we tend to forget what this instrument is supposed to work as by default.
Back in the old days there was the "Tring-Tring" kind of ring tone which was the same anywhere in the world, but with technology improving today we have 10 billion options with 23,000 settings for a ring tone. I guess one needs a separate user manual (the size of T-Rex) for adjusting the ring tones and other phone settings such as special ring tones when your neighbour’s wife, Citibank officials or Income Tax officer calls. The ring tones are normally kept with an audible range of 20KM radius. Due to the disturbance that it causes in any closed office environment, people are advised to keep the phone in vibrating mode which when set will vibrate rapidly measuring 7.9 on the Richter scale.
The biggest nuisance with getting a mobile connection is in trying to avoid the telemarketers. I guess these giant organisation send persons to eavesdrop on those who get a new connection and then start bombarding them with calls at odd hours for services such as toilet repairs, eloping with your team mates, facials & massages, personal loans for helicopters, financial schemes for buying vegetables etc. They also try and put a dumb person as a marketer who can never understand that one is least interested in any of those services. They relentlessly keep calling you until you crash your cell phone and the ground and thereby going to the sop to buy a new one again. (Note: This looks like an organised market penetration mechanism)
There is a special feature which comes with any cell phone which is called as English without Grammar. Let us take some sentences in English and see how it is translated into the SMS grammar for more clarity. The actual meaning for SMS is “Stupid Maligned Sentences”.
English Sentence: Have a great morning
SMS Sentence: Hav a g8 mrg
English Sentence: How is your neighbour’s wife?
SMS Sentence: HIYNW?
English Sentence: I Love you sweetie, coming home for dinner, so be ready OK.
SMS Sentence: ILU swte, cumin om 4 din, so b reyd k
Finally if you are in the zone to use the cellular phone with all its features then be ready to earn for 7 generations since the phone bill will require that much. I suppose it would be easier and cheaper for you to call some ET (Extra-Terrestrial) somewhere near Jupiter than calling your next door neighbour’s wife. The main reason why the extra-terrestrials never come to invade us is because our telecom providers would be charging them 73 billion for their simple SMS message via Morse code stating “V R CUMING 4 DIS WK-ND 2 DISNY WRLD”.
Times have changed and in today’s trendy world of cellular phones which are so small (an example the size of your brain) that they have discounted the earpiece and the microphones. No, they have improved in technology so much that you would have to buy a phone every 3 minutes since the older one would be obsolete by then. The telecommunication industry I am sure is run by some monkey brained scientist since they churn up some many acronyms like WLL, CDMA, WAP, SIM, GPRS, GSM, IIT-JEE, NIIT etc that end up making you look bewildered when trying to choose a model.
To top this off, the service providers would lay their conditions that TRI-BAND with GPRS would work only if you have MMS, WAP, ECG and EEG enabled on your set. It has reached a point where I feel that for want of peace that I go to a store and give him some money. Then get an empty match-box with some strings and make my own instrument thereby saving me from insanity. Only restrictions are that the other party is just 20 feet away from you.
It’s certain that the days have changed, considering the level of tech-knowledge, capacity to add two 4 digit numbers it would be impossible to remember your own car license number. Yet the cellular manufacturers models that have vague numbers which you have to remember when going to shop. Perhaps these manufacturers keep flipping the scientific data books for known numbers like 22/7 (Pi), Planks constant, De Broglie’s wave equations, Avogadro number, Boltzmann’s constant for their model numbers.
The result, I am (of course you are also in the same boat) confused and bewitched on what to choose. Many of the tech-savvy people always talk with respect to the model numbers such as “Yo man, got to see the K750i-(32-5/9F) model, it has better features than the N50-1.414i series in terms of nuclear surface-to-air missile launching capabilities”. Taking of capabilities gone are the days when you could only talk on your phone, today’s model come with many much needed services such as music player, video player, microwave oven, missile launchers, tool box, doping kit etc. With all these bloated services, we tend to forget what this instrument is supposed to work as by default.
Back in the old days there was the "Tring-Tring" kind of ring tone which was the same anywhere in the world, but with technology improving today we have 10 billion options with 23,000 settings for a ring tone. I guess one needs a separate user manual (the size of T-Rex) for adjusting the ring tones and other phone settings such as special ring tones when your neighbour’s wife, Citibank officials or Income Tax officer calls. The ring tones are normally kept with an audible range of 20KM radius. Due to the disturbance that it causes in any closed office environment, people are advised to keep the phone in vibrating mode which when set will vibrate rapidly measuring 7.9 on the Richter scale.
The biggest nuisance with getting a mobile connection is in trying to avoid the telemarketers. I guess these giant organisation send persons to eavesdrop on those who get a new connection and then start bombarding them with calls at odd hours for services such as toilet repairs, eloping with your team mates, facials & massages, personal loans for helicopters, financial schemes for buying vegetables etc. They also try and put a dumb person as a marketer who can never understand that one is least interested in any of those services. They relentlessly keep calling you until you crash your cell phone and the ground and thereby going to the sop to buy a new one again. (Note: This looks like an organised market penetration mechanism)
There is a special feature which comes with any cell phone which is called as English without Grammar. Let us take some sentences in English and see how it is translated into the SMS grammar for more clarity. The actual meaning for SMS is “Stupid Maligned Sentences”.
English Sentence: Have a great morning
SMS Sentence: Hav a g8 mrg
English Sentence: How is your neighbour’s wife?
SMS Sentence: HIYNW?
English Sentence: I Love you sweetie, coming home for dinner, so be ready OK.
SMS Sentence: ILU swte, cumin om 4 din, so b reyd k
Finally if you are in the zone to use the cellular phone with all its features then be ready to earn for 7 generations since the phone bill will require that much. I suppose it would be easier and cheaper for you to call some ET (Extra-Terrestrial) somewhere near Jupiter than calling your next door neighbour’s wife. The main reason why the extra-terrestrials never come to invade us is because our telecom providers would be charging them 73 billion for their simple SMS message via Morse code stating “V R CUMING 4 DIS WK-ND 2 DISNY WRLD”.
So I hav g8 respect 4 our fone cmpy 2wards saving manknd.
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